however, how many of us can truly understand the real meaning behind this?
in Dec itself, i have 4 weddings to attend! and a total of 10 in 2009 itself!
wedding see the union of 1 man and woman...nothing more nothing less...
it is an happy occasion to see so many of our close friends tying the knots in unison...and making the decision to start a new life together...
by chance of fate, we met Mrs Chia Swee Tin, our JP at 2 solemnization events. First was on 10 Dec (Thurs) at Angeline and Jinhow's ROM and the Second at 13 Dec (Sun) at Junchao & SeiRye's ROM...
it was nice and happy seeing her again...dear commented that mrs chia never seems to age a bit since one yr ago...she solemnized us on the 05th Oct 2008...In my memory she was a very nice lady and never fails to inject laughter and joy into my soleminsation. I was so nervous back then. But i still remember how she tried her best to make us feel at ease...from the bottom of my heart, thank you mrs chia!
we were entrusted by JC to fetch Mrs Chia to his ROM from Jewel Box on Sunday, along the way, we chatted with her...
she is a mediator by day... its energy sipping as she has to witness angry and unhappy cases...cases such as divorce, law suits raised by parents-children or husband-wife...her job must be tough as she is constantly being surrounded by negative forces (unhappiness and sorrow)...this totally explains why she makes all the couples she solemnized to go through a marriage preparation course with her at the function room of her condo...such a thoughtful act yet some couples still complain...by night, she is a JP, where she soleminsed couples who are ready to become husband and wife...even though her lines never change, and the jokes are always at the same spot, it never fails to inject THAT special feeling...*beyond words*
i remember asking mrs chia, after witness so many divorce cases, what is her word of advice to couples? and her reply..."to see two "I" as we...to be independent and free ourselves from our parents..."...
the former is tough...each of us came into a marriage having live at least 21 years of our life separately as 2 individuals...we bring with ourselves different sets of opinions, mindset, values about many many things in life...to change all these by just signing on that dotted line on the marriage certificate, its impossible...thus, it takes a lot of effort and hardwork on both couple to throw away the "I" mentality and turn it into a "WE" mentality...this absolutely ties back with my topic of "百年修的同船度,千年修得同枕眠"...
its all fate...全在于一个“缘”字...
among so many strangers in this world, had it not been fate, how would you get to know the special someone who will be your spouse for the rest of your life? if u believe, the text of the older days will tell u that its take thousands of years of good deeds accumulated to present the marriage of today...thus, treasure it and dont let it loose...
百年修來同船渡，千年修得共枕眠， 既然愛一個人就要------- 要 了 解 ， 也 要 開 解 ； 要 道 歉 ， 也 要 道 謝 ； 要 認 錯 ， 也 要 改 錯 ； 要 體 貼 ， 也 要 體 諒 ； 是 接 受 ， 而 不 是 忍 受 ； 是 寬 容 ， 而 不 是 縱 容 ； 是 支 持 ， 而 不 是 支 配 ； 是 慰 問 ， 而 不 是 質 問 ； 是 傾 訴 ， 而 不 是 控 訴 ； 是 難 忘 ， 而 不 是 遺 忘 ； 是 彼 此 交 流 ， 而 不 是 凡 事 交 代 ； 是 為 對 方 默 默 祈 求 ， 而 不 是 向 對 方 諸 多 要 求 ； 可 以 浪 漫 ， 但 不 要 浪 費 ； 可 以 隨 時 牽 手 ， 但 不 要 隨 便 分 手 ； |
**How true**
the latter "to be free from parents"...this is tough too...Mrs Chia told us that she is her son-in-law's best friend as she seldom interfere in this affairs...she let them having breathing space to grow their own world...but how many parents can do just that? her daughter's parents-in-law is not her daughter's best friend...every parent see their children as being the best and some feel that they are "giving" away their best treasure to someone else...hence, they continue to interfere even after the marriage...
this is not easy...and i cant comment since i am not a parent myself yet...maybe in times to come, i will be able to comprehend with Mrs Chia words...in the meanwhile, i think i would be better off remembering the other word of advice she has for her daughter...that is to be gracious at all times towards her PIL...
a lot of penny for my thoughts for the best few days...mainly cos kor encountering something difficult in his life...may he have the strength to tide on and see what's best for him...and may he comprehend the true meaning of the chinese saying....
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